Posted by
Shogrensus on Thursday, June 07, 2007 9:12:25 PM
June 7, 2007
Guest Host Lorraine Bracco
Paris has been released- the audience gasps. She has been released for medical reasons and has been reassigned to her home. She will be on house arrest for the rest of her sentence, which reverts back to the 45 day sentence.
This situation is so comical it now borders on tragic.
First, the sheriff announces her sentence was reduced from 45 days to approximately 23 days. (The poor prisoners get too crowded so people get let go early…
Then they announce that Paris will be kept in a more private area. She could have paid for the celebrity jail but decided against it. She really wanted to do her time, spend time thinking and being a role model…
Next, she checks in on the fast track, in the middle of the night, with a really nice private escort via a tunnel.
She was reportedly crying continuously while at the jail. Poor girl: no down comforters or feather beds, no bling-covered cell phones, no personal chef to cook her meals…
Now, she has been released on in-home monitoring. She gets credit for serving time on Sunday (she checked in late at night) and she gets credit for today (even though she left the prison under the cover of darkness) So while she was at the jail for 3 days, it has turned into 5 days. She will serve out the remainder of her sentence laying by the pool of her mansion, filming a new reality TV show called The Pathetic Life. I made that part up…
The women chatted it up:
***
BW: She has been released for medical reasons. They don’t say she was released; she was reassigned to her home
EH: That’s terrible. I would like to be assigned to her home.
Joy: She can travel within 4000 feet which is like her bedroom.
BW: She has to wear an ankle bracelet
Joy: And she has to wear an ankle bracelet. She is my new idol though. I’ll tell you this girl can get out of more things than David Copperfield. I’ve never seen anything like it. I revere her now for having pulled this off.
***
Joy is right, she has played her cards perfectly. The judge had been clear- no house arrest. Now, here she is, probably the first person ever to be sad to be in jail…
What a joke. She had fired her publicist and then rehired the guy. If he advised her to try to get out of jail early she should fire him. What a PR disaster.